


Last Hope

by AnxiouslyNumb



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends, Drama & Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-01-31 08:15:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21443059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiouslyNumb/pseuds/AnxiouslyNumb
Summary: It was hard for Ginny Weasley to find hope in the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone,
> 
> Thank you for being here.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. Obviously.  
A few things:  
* Ginny and Harry never got together in HBP. But they are very close friends.  
* This story contains mature and explicit content. Such as: Cursing, Violence, Explicit Sexual Situations, Suicide, Rape, sexual harassment/assault, etc.  
* There will be Original Characters.
> 
> Thank you, I hope you enjoy.

Ginny Weasley was standing over a Death Eater's corpse. At some point during the battle she has lost count of how many lives she took, a part of her didn't care and she couldn't really deal with the other part; the part that wanted to throw up and cry in a corner somewhere. She's been keeping everything in check for over a year, not feeling anything, trying to survive, making sure that her friends stayed alive and trying to keep Hogwarts from burning to the ground.

Glancing up from the dead body she could see her best friend Neville in the distance fighting two of them, barely hanging on trying to duck and fire spells at both of them. She knew he could handle it, they made sure of it. They've been training, they were all ready but Ginny couldn't help but worry because Neville didn't want to cross the line. He didn't want to kill any of them, he believed they were misled. There's been arguments among the DA about the right and wrong of it all. And Ginny just wanted to save her loved ones no matter what she had to do.

She closed her eyes briefly. Fred. She couldn't save him, she felt suffocating sadness trying to overwhelm her but she had to push it down, she couldn't stop and process anything that was happening; she had to be all action and logic. She couldn't take a moment to think about the fact that she'd just seen Ron for the first time in a year and their reunion included witnessing their brother's death. They both knew they couldn't sit, cry, and deal with the trauma; they had to keep going. That was the hardest part; wanting to give up, wanting to just lie down and die but not being able to because people depended on you, because you had to be strong even though nothing seemed to matter anymore. And it was really messed up that all she wanted was to immediately hug Ron and thank the heavens he was okay but instead they had to watch their brother take his last breath. Ginny felt panic beginning to settle in again as she though of Fred, she knew she was about to lose herself in a dark bottomless pit if she didn't control her thoughts and emotions, she had to set everything aside once again, she had to keep fighting; she had to make sure his death meant something.

Behind the wall next to Neville she spotted a Death Eater sneaking up on him ready to fire a curse. Her body sprung into action as she sprinted towards him, jumping over bodies and leaping over bricks as she raised her wand with perfect aim.

"Reducto!"

The Death Eater went flying back from the force of the spell, a hole appearing in his chest where his heart used to be. Neville turned around at her voice, sweat dripping down his face. They nodded at each other once she reached him as they both started to fight the Death Eaters in front of them.

"Ginny! Neville!" They were both too busy fighting the two scumbags to turn towards Luna's voice, but Ginny knew something was wrong. Luna rarely, if ever, raised her voice. She let out a grunt in frustration as she fought; until finally disarming him and quickly using a stunning spell before turning to Luna she was covered in blood the color mixing morbidly with her dirty blonde hair.

"What is it?"

She could see Neville was still fighting his guy from her peripheral vision.

"I tried to stop them...but they got them- two second years! I was supposed to protect them...I tried Ginny."

_Shit_. Knowing that Neville finally dealt with the Death Eater, she grabbed both his arm and Luna's and dragged them running until they crouched behind a big brick that has fallen from one of the towers.

"Who took them?" Ginny immediately asked.

"I don't know. They were wearing masks."

"What are we going to do? We can't leave in the middle of battle." Neville said looking at her, waiting for her agreement.

He was right. They were under their protection, but Ginny had to be logical here. They were most likely dead and it wasn't like the first time they had lost kids. People needed them here, it was war and their place was in the middle of it. For a minute Ginny couldn't believe her thoughts, she was knowingly giving up on two kids. She knew they were in danger and they might already be dead or they were trying to recruit them, she knew it wasn't the right thing to do. But it was the tactical and tough decision that she had to make.

"They're probably dead."

"Ginny!" Luna protested instantly. "I know it's not the smartest decision to look for them, but I was in charge of them Gin. I can't just-" She paused, voice breaking, before she looked her in the eyes. "I'll look for them. With or without you."

_Damn it, Luna_. She thought to herself.

"Do you know where they took them?"

"Before I passed out, I saw them making their way to the Forbidden Forest." Her eyes suddenly glazed over and Ginny knew she was having one of her visions, or senses as she sometimes referred to them.

A figure suddenly dropped down next to them, it was Padma and she looked at them in panic.

"I can't find Parvati!" She cried. "I don't know what happened, I was fighting right next to her, and I turned around and she...oh god I-"

"Hey hey, Padma, take a breath." Neville raised a palm to her shoulder calmly. "We'll find her, okay? Just try and breathe."

Padma tried to nod but she was visibly shaking.

"Okay...right. She's fine. We'll find her." It really felt as if she was trying to convince herself, but in that moment it was as if they all had the same thought, shared the same feeling. It was that gut feeling that you get that told you something was wrong, someone was dead. And with that, Ginny has made a decision.

"Alright, Neville, you go with Padma and try to keep track of all DA members." She turned to Luna. "You're with me."

Padma sniffled. "Where are you going?"

"To look for two second years, they were taken."

"That's terrible, but Ginny, we need you here. Everyone needs to be here right now." Padma said, her shaking lessened slightly.

"Yeah, Ginny, I really hate to say this, but are we sure this is the best plan?"

"I can't let Luna go alone...and she's right. They are our responsibility." She hated how jaded they all became. They saw so many kids tortured and killed that it was in debate right then whether it was smart to leave and save them or not. Ginny felt so sick that for a second she thought she was actually going to throw up. They had to find them and they had to be alive. They just had to.

"Hell, I know- I know. Alright, I'm going with you then."

"No, you're not, the three of us can't go, you're needed here and Padma needs you-"

"I'll be fine." She interrupted with a shaking breath.

"Oh god, Ginny, I feel them. "Luna breathed from beside her, her eyes have gone so cloudy they were almost just white."No no no, they're in so much pain. We have to go now!" Luna raised a hand to her mouth trying to silent her sob as she finally came back to herself, eyes natural grey again.

"Okay, " Ginny looked quickly to Neville and Padma putting a hand on each of their shoulders. "Just stick together and we'll be back as soon as we can."

They all stood up and eyed each other in worry, it was not goodbye; they would meet again, they've been through way too much not to.

Neville stepped towards Ginny and Luna and threw his arms around them, holding them tight. "Be careful, _please_."

"You too." Luna mumbled.

"Uh...Nev, you should probably let go now." Ginny told him after a moment only half teasing, she didn't necessarily want to end the hug, but they were literally surrounded by chaos and people falling to their death. Ginny still made sure to smile at him when he finally pulled back.

She turned to Padma."I hope you find your sister."

"Me too. I will." She uttered with conviction.

"Be safe, alright?" They both nodded their heads in answer.

And with that Ginny and Luna took off, leaving Hogwarts grounds and marching straight into the Forbidden Forest.

* * *

Ginny and Luna were trying to to be as quiet as they can, they had to be stealthy, fast, and silent. Luna was leading the way based on what she was sensing and Ginny was trying to form a plan-any kind of plan that she can put into action once they find them. If they find them. They had to take their time and be strategic about whatever situation they might be walking into.

Ginny's steps came to a halt as she raised an arm to stop Luna in her tracks. She heard something just then or maybe she felt it.

"Did you hear that?"

"No, what do you hear?"

"Let's hope I'm just being paranoid." She answered as they started to walk again.

But Ginny knew she wasn't being paranoid. She felt something and then a wave of realization hit her. Voldemort was here. She could feel him. Ever since the diary she always had these moments as if she could feel him watching her, or sense that he was near. And right then it was stronger than ever. And if Voldemort were there, she wondered if Harry were too, Ginny felt a sharp pang of fear and dread for him that she had to quickly push deep down to focus on the mission. Even though she wasn't sure, she wanted to tell Luna to stop and go back and let her find the second years. Ginny wanted to stay so she could face Voldemort, finally confront him and help Harry defeat him, but she knew Luna wouldn't leave her.

"It's that way." Luna suddenly whispered, her voice so soft and airy, Ginny knew she was lost in her own mind, she didn't have to see her eyes to know they have probably gone white.

As they approached the area Luna pointed out, Ginny could hear voices laughing and then a second later there were screams. They were crying out in pain and Ginny felt her stomach hurt as she and Luna sped up until they were close enough to hide behind a tree and observe the scene.

Ginny quickly evaluated the situation. Only two Death Eaters, thankfully. Then her eyes zoned in on the two kids tied against the tree and she recognized them immediately. Isaac and Allison. When she looked them over, it felt as if all air left her body. Aside from the tears and sheer pain on their faces. Their clothes were ripped. Oh god no no no not that. Her mind was screaming at her to just run in and get them, her body was dying to go in for the kill; but they had to wait and assess their next course of action.

Before Ginny could turn around to Luna, a child emerged suddenly from behind one of the Death Eaters. She couldn't have been more than twelve and while she had the body of child, she didn't carry herself like one. She couldn't believe that these two pieces of shit let that kid watch. Ginny tried to take a better look As the little girl walked closer and she could somewhat see her face and eyes; they were calm, no fear whatsoever. She looked almost demonic.

"Well, that was a waste of my time." The girl looked at the two men with boredom. "Now that you've had your fun. Please go away, so I can enjoy killing them in peace."

Luna let out a small gasp from beside her, Ginny's eyes were wide in shock. She felt Luna take a step forward before she grabbed her and pulled her back with a shake of her head that told her they needed to think first. She knew that Voldemort and Death Eaters were recruiting kids, but she had never actually seen one. The two men looked at the child with respect, almost fear.

"You can, of course, have the kill, " One of them responded. "But we have orders to never leave your side, Akkila."

Akkila. Akkila Carrow. Ginny and Luna shared a look, of course they've heard of her and how ruthless she was but the rumours never mentioned she was a bloody twelve year old. Nobody knew why she never joined the Carrows at Hogwarts.

"I don't care what orders you've been given. When I tell you to leave. You leave." Her voice was ice cold and Ginny felt a shiver run through her.

"Okay so, you'll take the one on the right and I'll take the left." She whispered to Luna.

"And Akkila?"

"Stunning spells only." She didn't want to think about how awful and sinister that little girl was. They weren't going to kill her.

"Oh, Ginny."Luna sighed and when Ginny looked at her, her eyes were cloudy yet again.

"What is it?"

"I don't think this going to end well."

_Damn it, Luna._

"Did you...see or feel something?"

Her gaze shot up to Ginny's. "It doesn't matter. We don't have a choice." Her voice was small and sad.

She didn't have time to dissect that statement.

"How dare you disobey me?"

Ginny and Luna turned back to watch Akkila raise her wand and with no hesitation she fired the Killing Curse.

She could see that Akkila was too far gone. And Ginny wasn't surprised given who she was and how she was raised, but that didn't stop the disgust and disbelief at the sight in front of her. There was only Akkila and one Death Eater left, getting rid of them was going to be easy.

"Gin."

"Yeah?"

"Remember what I told you."

_Really, Luna?_ Ginny thought. _You expect me to remember everything you've ever told me?_

"You have to give me more than that, L."

"You'll know."

Giving her a confused look. "I don't think we have time for riddles."

"We were in the library."

"Bloody hell! Which time!?" She whisper-shouted.

Luna looked at her then, something about her eyes made Ginny pause as she felt Luna's hand on her shoulder. "You know."

And it was as if she transferred the exact memory into Ginny's mind. She remembered exactly which time she was talking about. They had been sitting in the Library late one night studying; but Luna had felt bad all day even if she were trying not to show it. Some students had been calling her names and they were in the middle of pulling a very cruel prank, when Ginny had intervened for the third time that week. Ginny had stayed with her after it happened and had tried everything to cheer her up. She had cracked jokes and had told her a few hilarious Fred and George stories; but nothing'd worked. So Ginny had decided to just sit with her in silence, until she had suddenly spoken up.

_"You're the best friend anybody could ever ask for, Ginny Weasley." She had stated staring out of the Library's window._

_Ginny smiled. "Aw! You're a pretty great friend too, L."_

_Luna looked at her with a grin. "Oh! L ...I like that."_

Ginny smiled softly at the memory, but looked at Luna in confusion. "Why that memory?"

It was a stupid question, deep down Ginny knew why. But there was no way she was going to let whatever was about to happen to actually happen.

"You're my best friend, Ginny."

"Luna-"

But she didn't get to finish. Luna sat up and looked down at her. "It's time."

Ginny nodded, standing up as well, making sure that all her daggers were in place and slowly they walked around the tree they were hiding behind. Without warning, Luna charged for Akkila aiming her wand.

"Stupefy!"

Ginny didn't wait to see if it hit the target, she ran towards the other Death Eater.

He deflected her attempt trying to stun him and fired back his own. She could hear Luna and Akkila sparring beside her. Curses were being fired in every direction.

"Expelliarmus!" He yelled, smirking at her because he knew she didn't expect him to use that spell. Ginny groaned in frustration when it hit her and she felt her wand flying out of her hand.

Acting quickly not waiting for her wand to reach him, she ran forward, her body slid across the ground once she was close enough she kicked her leg hard against his shin; successfully tripping him, his wand falling from his hand. Both of their wands were on the ground, Ginny immediately went for her wand, throwing her body towards it but he grabbed her ankle and dragged her back before flipping her around.

"Bitch!"

"Right back at ya." She growled, pulling her knee up and kicking him right in the balls. He glowered in pain, instantly releasing her.

Pushing him back, she moved to stand and he readily followed. Both leaving their wands behind, Ginny took a quick second to glance at Luna, she didn't need any help she was gracefully ducking and dodging as she shot a spell after spell at Akkila. She checked the two second years still tied to the tree and unconscious.

Pulling her attention back to her enemy, he was grinning before he advanced on her with a punch, she ducked, moving a step to the side twirling around until she was behind him. She raised her right knee and as hard as she could kicked him in the spine, he yelled out; dropping to his knees. Ginny quickly grabbed his hair and pulled; with her other hand extracted the dagger she kept on her right hip, lifting her arm back; she swung it back down around to his neck and slit his throat. Blood splattered onto her hand and the ground. She let his body go and it hit the ground with a thump.

"Ah!"

She turned around to see her friend tied to a huge tree the branches and roots wrapping themselves around her body tightly.

Ginny silently searched around for her wand, but sadly she wasn't that lucky. Akkila's head whipped around in her direction smiling maniacally.

"Oh no. You killed one of my own." She said monotonously. "I'll have to kill you now...well, I was going to kill you anyway."

Ginny has spotted her wand and as discreetly as possible she made a step towards it. But it was too late, Akkila's snake eyes caught it.

"Accio Wand!"

Both her wand and the dead Death Eater's flew right into her tiny hands.

"Look at that! I've got all of your wands." She pouted mockingly. "And I'm a twelve year old. This is embarrassing."

She pocketed two of the wands, leaving two; one in each hand.

"Listen, you don't want to do this, please." Ginny tried feebly; she knew it was no use but she didn't want to hurt her.

"But I do."

"You're very young and confused, it's not your fault...you just need help."

Akkila stared at Ginny incredulously. "Are you being serious? I'm about to kill both of you and this is your argument?"

"Listen, there's hope for you, you don't have to be like your family. You have a choice."

"Don't talk about my family." She snarled. "Don't talk to me like you know me."

"You're right, I don't. But I do know what it is like to feel like you can't control your life, to be used as just a pawn in someone else's plans."

"Oh, do you now?"

"Different circumstances, but yes. I bet everything's been decided for you since you came into this world; you never had a choice. But you have one now. You can make the right one."

Akkila laughed, the sound sadistic and unnatural. "You're funny, Weasley."

Ginny's shock must have shown on her face.

"Why are you so surprised? Of course I know who you are; after all, we were counting on you trying to find these weaklings." She tilted her head in Allison and Isaac's direction.

"You're deeply despised in my world. Your entire family, actually, is on my list of people I want to kill before the end of the night."

She went too far.

"Careful." Ginny's voice was deadly calm, but the warning was more than clear in her tone.

"Ooh, I'm so scared." She lifted her head to the sky. "Help me, Almighty God! Ginny Weasley; the girl who couldn't fight a _diary_ is threatening _me_."

Ginny's heart was beating wildly in her chest, she was about to lose her temper. She didn't want to think about how that little brat acquired this information, she didn't want to think about Death Eaters having information on her and her family. She wanted to focus on her anger.

"You _should_ be scared." Luna spoke suddenly, her voice cutting through the tension in the air.

Akkila's eyes never left Ginny as she responded to Luna." You know, I have no idea why you're still alive, Freak."

"Don't call her that."

"I'll do far more than just call her a Freak." She replied with a scoff, talking to Ginny as she took a step closer in Luna's direction, one of the wand pointed at her."I was going to make you kill her yourself, but I know for a fact that you know how to resist the Imperius curse. So...I'll just settle for you watching me have all the fun!"

"Crucio!"

Luna's screams instantly pierced their ears.

"Stop!"

But before Ginny could move the curse was flipped on her, she immediately fell writhing on the ground in excruciating pain; she's been through this enough times but it never got easier, nothing could ever prepare you for a pain that you can feel in every single bone in your body as if they were all breaking at the same time over and over again. It was as if somebody setting you on fire from the inside. Everything just burned. While she couldn't get used to it, Ginny has learned to try and push through it; she whimpered, trying to move her head.

"Please stop, don't...make me." She couldn't even hear her own voice through her sharp gasps, her lungs letting out a scream.

She couldn't think, she tried to move her body but she couldn't muster enough energy, the pain was blinding.

"Sadly, I'm not even sure if you can hear me right now, but I'm going to kill your friend."

Somehow Ginny got herself to look up, grunting loudly. Through her blurred vision, she could make out Akkila raising the other wand towards Luna; even though she couldn't focus on her, she could tell she was looking at her, trying to tell her it was okay.

Ginny wasn't going to lose anyone else, losing her brother and best friend on the same day was just not an option. There had to be a way, through her agony she prayed for a miracle, she prayed for a sliver of strength to get her to move.

Akkila's wand was at the ready.

Ginny was fighting her body, pushing through the pain. Achingly slow she tried to reach for her dagger.

Akkila was smiling at Luna in triumph.

"Ple-please don't!"

Ginny was groaning and grunting trying to cling onto the dagger once she was able to hold it.

"Avada-"

"NO!" She shrieked, swinging her arm back before throwing the dagger at Akkila with all the power she has left.

The pain suddenly stopped and Ginny gasped in relief, breathing harshly, she blinked, there were dots swimming in her vision, her heart was beating way too fast; it felt like she was about to pass out and maybe she did because a while later she began to feel her surroundings again.

"Ginny."

She tiredly lifted her head at her friend's voice; who was now kneeling beside her and sighed in relief. She was alive. The tree must have let her go after Akkila stopped.

"Wa - wait, is she...?"

Luna didn't meet her eyes. "Yes."

She tried to stand up, but her legs gave out from under her.

"Ginny, you need a minute, you were under the Cruciatus for a while."

"Help me to her."

She threw her arm around Luna's shoulder; while Luna wrapped hers around Ginny's waist. Together they stumbled their way over till they reached her body. She was scared to look down, she didn't want to see it, but she couldn't help it; she had to see for herself. Her eyes finally moved to the body, the dagger has struck her on the forehead; her eyes were staring up unseeing. She was dead.

She has just killed a kid.

She let go of Luna, moving quickly to a nearby tree and emptying her stomach. She didn't know how long she sat by the tree vomiting; she couldn't process what just happened, it was like remembering a memory that you didn't live. _I had no choice_. She kept repeating the words in her mind, hoping the words would calm her somehow, but she knew nothing would've helped her._ I had no choice_. _Breathe breathe breathe_. She couldn't even focus on the fact that her body was weeping in pain. She was mentally and physically drained. _Breathe breathe breathe._

"Ginny."

She directed her gaze in the voice's direction, it was Allison and beside her stood Isaac and Luna. They were okay, they were alive._ Focus on that_, She thought to herself.

Her mind has slowly started to clear, she took a deep breath, before sluggishly standing up. "We need to go back."

They all quietly agreed; making their way through the Forest. She appreciated the silence but it was too dark, she wished they could use Lumos but they couldn't risk someone seeing them.

That was when she felt it again. Voldemort.

As they kept walking, it intensified, she wondered why Luna didn't say anything. Did she even sense anything. Or was it just Ginny because she was connected to Voldemort somehow. Peering ahead she thought she saw a few figures in the distance; the shapes got clearer as they got closer.

"Do you guys see that?" Isaac asked from behind her.

But Ginny didn't respond, because the one thing that was flashing in her mind was that one of the figures was Harry, she was sure of it; with her heart in her throat she started walking faster, leaving the others behind.

"Ginny!" Luna tried to keep her voice low."Don't. Ginny!"

But she didn't stop, she started running forward, her mind racing until she could finally view the scene clearly. Her heart dropped as her eyes fell on Harry for the first time in over a year. His back was to her, facing Voldemort and his little minions; they were both just staring at each other. She felt Luna come up behind her and was aware enough to know that she has cast a Muffliato Charm around them. _What is Harry doing?_ She thought. _What is happening?_

And then her world crumbled.

She felt her her heart stop beating. It happened so fast - too fast.

"Avada Kedavra!"

She felt her mouth react before her mind could register as she wailed in agonizing devastation, the sound filling the space around them. Ginny felt a heavy weight crushing down her heart and squeezing it in a death grip as pure panic rose so sudden and fast, consuming every fiber of her body, paralyzing her as everything within her soul prayed for death, because she knew it would be a relief from this crippling pain that was washing over her, making her choke on her breath, struggling to breathe through the overwhelming tightness in her chest.

And then her body jumped into action with vengeance as she stepped forward but before she could take one step, Luna's arm caught her around the waist, pulling her back and holding her tight in place, as she put a hand on her mouth to silence her.

"Ginny, please, I was never that good at Muffliato. They might hear us."

Ginny was struggling so hard against Luna that she feared she might hurt her. She didn't know her friend was that strong, Luna never really liked to get overly physical with her training.

"Ginny, we are massively outnumbered. There's nothing you can do."

She managed to rip Luna's hand away, growling. "Let me go! I don't want to hurt you!"

She heard her gasp. "Oh wait. I can still sense his Aura."

Ginny wasn't in the right mind to digest the words. The only thing on her mind was getting to Voldemort and avenging Harry's death. Fred's. Avenging everyone's death.

With a grunt she elbowed Luna hard in the guts, hearing her yelp in pain and falling to the ground. Ginny didn't look back; she held her wand with determination. As she started moving toward her target, she heard Luna's voice from behind her.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

Ginny's entire body stiffened, as the Spell worked its way over her limbs, incapable of moving, she felt her body falling backwards, two arms catching her around the waist, trying to hold her up.

"I'm sorry, Ginny."

Her wide eyes looked onward to the scene that would be imprinted in her memory forever. Harry's dead body on the ground.

_Harry._ The person that before a year ago was one of her best friends. She thought at some point that they were each other's closest friend, until one day he had disappeared with Ron and Hermione; and she felt betrayed and she was so mad at him, especially because she knew what he was doing, even if she didn't know the details at first, it wasn't difficult to guess what they were doing. But none of that mattered then, they ran out of time. They were never going to fight about it. She was never going to see him again, was never going to make him laugh or smile. She was never going to hear his voice again.

She watched as Hagrid; whom she didn't even notice was there, pick Harry's body off the ground and into his arms. She felt Luna slowly trying to move back, so she can rest Ginny's body on the ground.

She felt tears silently stream down her face as she caught a final glimpse of Harry; before her eyes were gazing up at the night sky.


	2. Chapter 2

_Two Months Later._

* * *

The sun was shining brightly through the window of Ginny's bedroom at the Burrow and it was so. . ._horrible_.

She grumbled loudly, rolling on her back in annoyance. It was all just so irritating, because, sometimes she couldn't bring herself to sleep a wink, and other times, when she did manage to sleep, she'd be dead to the world for hours on end, reliving her worst memories in nightmare land until her lovely mother would barge in and tell her to get off her bum.

But she managed to wake up all by herself, because, the bloody sun decided to exist. She glared at her window childishly, sitting up slowly. It's been a little over two month and her body still ached from time to time. After Voldemort has been defeated, everyone that fought at Hogwarts spent about a week or two at St. Mungo's, some longer than others. She was lucky, her physical wounds were treated quickly, as for the emotional ones. . .well, she didn't really want to think about that.

After taking a shower and brushing her teeth, she threw on blue jeans and a simple white t-shirt, before stumping down the stairs to get something to eat. It was late in the afternoon and she knew her mother was going to give her grief about it. She's been missing breakfast with the family for a while now, she actually missed most meals, and her parents were not happy about it. She couldn't help it if she didn't feel like company, she just wanted to eat alone, there was nothing wrong with that, considering everything they've been through. She was coping.

I don't see anybody telling George off for being, Merlin knows where half the time, and then coming home completely plastered, she thought bitterly.

Why did he get a free pass just because Fred was his twin? She knew she was being irrational, and she instantly felt disgust at herself for her thoughts, George should get a free pass, she thought. Because as sad and lost as she felt, she knew, she couldn't even begin to understand the impact that losing Fred had on George. They were inseparable.

Her head was beginning to spin again, she put a hand on the wall to steady herself, she suddenly felt as if her lungs were collapsing. Her throat was about to close up. She had to stop thinking about Fred. And George. She just had to stop thinking all the time, she couldn't have another panic attack. She rested a hand on her chest and breathed slowly through her nose, trying to calm her racing heart. It was getting less frequent, but not less enough. She had managed to get through the first two alone, the first one was exactly a week after the War, she'd thought she was dying, she hasn't had a panic attack that vicious since the Chamber. She had managed to keep them at bay over the years and had thought she was getting pretty good at it, even if she couldn't really help the anxiety attacks that kept her up all night. But lately, it was all a little too much for her, they came on sudden and fast; she felt hopeless, frantic, and then numb.

She knew, that was why she didn't want to go back to Hogwarts. That was also why, she didn't want to help with repairing and rebuilding it, because, she couldn't be there without breaking down. She was there the first week or so, but then, she slowly started to go less and less. While a part of her had felt guilty, the other didn't really care and thought that, she had already done her job. How could she walk through all that rubble and not fall apart.

Ginny's relationship with Hogwarts has always been a little back and forth. At first, she had been beyond excited to go and finally start her first year and be there with her brothers. . .then the Chamber of Secrets happened. And she had never felt less safe anywhere. Once she had finally returned to the Burrow after her first year's horrifying events, she'd never wanted to go back, she was in the safety of her own bedroom and she had wanted things to stay that way. But then of course, she had realized, that it would have been weak to hide from the world, and that she had to be strong and push through it.

Her parents hadn't believed her, and she couldn't blame them. She had woken up crying out for them every night. She could still remember the conversation, when she had told them that she didn't need time away, that she was fine, even if she had been crying as she said it.

* * *

_There was a knock on twelve year old Ginny Weasley's bedroom._

_"Hey, darling," her mother, Molly Weasley, whispered, cautiously walking in, in case Ginny was actually asleep. "Still can't sleep?"_

_Ginny sat up on the bed with a huff. "Yes, obviously, Mum."_

_Her mother only smiled softly at her, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. "No need to be grumpy about it, it will only keep you up longer, you know? Have you tried reading the new book I got for you?"_

_"Yes, and as boring as it was, it still couldn't get me to fall asleep,"_

_Her mother laughed lightly."It's always nice to see that sense of humor of yours is still intact,"_

_"I wasn't joking, it really was quite awful,"_

_"See, I told you she wouldn't like it," Ginny's father, Arthur Weasley, was standing in the doorway; smiling fondly at them._

_"Oh, shut it, Arthur. At least, I didn't get her one of those useless Muggle toys 'how to build', manual things,"_

_Her father scoffed, as he grabbed her desk's chair and pulled it closer to her bed, before sitting on it. "It was about how to build a toy train! How could that not be exciting?!"_

_"Sorry, Dad, but it was just as boring," Ginny sighed. "I'm fine, I'll just take another sleeping potion, I guess."_

_Ginny was hugely disappointed, she really wanted to get herself to sleep without any help, but it seemed she wasn't there yet. It was enough that she needed a potion for her anxiety and panic attacks._

_"I know you hate doing it," her mother started softly. "But you can always come sleep with us."_

_Ginny did hate having to go to her parent's bedroom when things got too hard. She didn't want to need them, she wanted to get through all of it on her own. The whole reason Tom Riddle managed to possess her, was because, she had been lonely and weak; and all she had wanted was a friend to talk to. She had thought her first year at Hogwarts, was going to be nothing but fun and learning magic. Then, she got there and it wasn't all she had dreamed it to be. It was too big and overwhelming._

_And while she understood that, Ron had already found great friends in Harry and Hermione, she didn't really think he could forget about her so quickly. So, when she had seen how happy he was, she didn't really want to intrude in on his new life, he was her best friend and she had been happy for him. Plus, she had figured it was time for her to start new friendships, too._

_Ginny had always thought, she was friendly and fun to spend time with, if what she had with her brothers was any indication. She was funny, smart, and could prank better than the best of them. But, when she had tried to make friends, it wasn't so easy, it wasn't as simple as joking around with her brothers. So, when she had found the Diary, she thought, she had found a place to vent about her growing anxieties, and then Tom had answered and she stupidly thought, it was even better than before, she had found a friend who already knew her better than anyone._

_Ginny shuddered, thinking about everything that happened after, how he had slowly manipulated her emotions to his advantage, how disoriented and panicked she had felt when he had completely taken over; and she wasn't aware of what she was doing or where she was for most days, waking up somewhere suddenly, with no memory of how she got there, covered in blood._

_So, no, Ginny wasn't going to be sad and pathetic anymore, she wasn't going to run to her parents every time she felt scared. She was okay and she could get through this._

_"Mum, I'm not doing that," she replied, looking down, eyes brimming with tears. "I'll just take the potion, and one day, I won't need it anymore."_

_She felt her parents looking at each other. And she knew they were about to say something she wasn't going to like._

_"Right, and until then," her mother paused. "Your father and I have been talking, and we think you should stay back with us this year, only for a while, your Healer agrees too. We talked to Albus and he's okay with you st-"_

_"No! You can't do that!" Ginny cried immediately._

_"Ginny, it will be fun," her father tried gently. "We can travel somewhere, get away for a bit,"_

_"No no no," Ginny shook her head adamantly, they couldn't just take that choice away from her, she wanted to go back to Hogwarts. "I have to go back, it's the only way I'll get better, I can't just hide and be weak -"_

_"Ginny!" her mother interrupted, emotions shining in her voice. "you are not weak! Don't ever say that. Dear, you are the strongest, bravest girl, I. ."_

_Her mother broke off, not being able to control the sob that came out, she could see her dad putting a comforting arm around her._

_"Ginny, taking time for yourself, especially after what happened, is not weak. If anything, it's necessary, sweetheart," her father said with a teary-eyed smile._

_"It doesn't matter! I need to go back, please. . .please,"_

_"Ginny, it's not forever, maybe just a term, or maybe more, just until you get better," her mother said._

_"I am better! I haven't had an attack in a while, I just...still have trouble with sleeping," little Ginny said, wiping at her face with her sleeve."I still have one month before I have to get back to Hogwarts, I can still get better. I promise,"_

_"Ginny,"_

_"I'm okay, I swear! We can go away now, right? We have a month to travel."_

_"Yes, Ginny. But that is not the only reason. I mean, are you really ready to go back, dear?" her mother took a deep breath before continuing. "it's okay to admit that you don't feel safe there anymore, it will pass,"_

_"But I do feel safe. . .well, maybe not as safe as before, but I know it wasn't Hogwarts, it was. . .Tom. I promise, going back to school is not going to make me worse. I don't want to take time away, please,"_

_Her parents stayed quiet for what felt like forever._

_"Please." she repeated._

_Finally, after contemplating and looking at each other in silent communication, they looked at her. "Fine,"_

_"Yes!" Ginny exclaimed in glee._

_"BUT," her mother continued sternly. "we'll be visiting you frequently and you'll send us a letter everyday to tell - "_

_"Everyday?!"_

_"Yes."_

_"That's a bit much, Mum,"_

_"Ginny,"_

_"All right," she sighed in defeat._

_"And you have to promise, that if you ever feel unsafe, or that you need to just leave at any time, you have to tell us,"_

_"Okay,"_

_"I'm serious, Ginny. If you feel like you're not completely fine, all you have to do is talk to us,"_

_"I know. I'll be fine, I promise."_

* * *

And she had been fine. She had been right, she'd needed to go back to Hogwarts; she'd needed to make new memories, and make friends. . .actual non-evil Dark Lord friends.

Ginny didn't know why she felt different about going back. She loved Hogwarts with all her heart. Maybe, it was because she was older, or because she knew in her heart, that last year was just too much, and going back wouldn't change anything.

All Ginny knew was that she needed to get out, go somewhere else. She wanted to move away and find a flat, maybe with Luna and Neville, like they've talked about. It could even be in some Muggle city, she could find a job - any job, she could wait on tables in some shop, for money. The only thing was, that something in Ginny has shifted, most of the time, she didn't really care which way her life went, but what she cared about in that moment, was that, she was seriously considering not going back to Hogwarts; and she didn't know how to go about the idea with her parents.

"Ginny!" her mother's voice bellowed.

She took one final long deep breath, finally managing to gather a little control, before leaving the wall she was leaning on, and walking into the kitchen.

"Afternoon, Mum,"

"Ginevra Weasley! Do you know what time it is?!"

"No, I still can't tell time,"

Her mother shot her a glare.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Mum! It's not that late!"

She only sighed in response. "Ginny, this has to stop, darling. You haven't been. . .yourself,"

Yeah, no shit.

"And I know, believe me, I know, it's difficult right now, and that we're all doing the best we can to just. . .move past this," her mother continued, eyes full of tears. "but the only way to get through this, is together. Pushing us away is unlike you, I just want to talk to you, you know, like before,"

Ginny knew she had to say something to get out of the conversation, she couldn't stand there and watch her mother cry. That was precisely why she avoided her, avoided everyone. She couldn't deal with her own shit, how could she help others?

She had been there for her family in the beginning, she realized they needed her to be strong for them. And she was; for the first month, maybe, but then it all got to be unbearable. The crying, the pretending, that everything was going to be the same, and of course, the constant reminiscing; 'remember when Fred did that', 'remember when he said this'. Ginny had to pull back, or she would have lost her damn mind. She understood that was their way of handling the trauma, but it wasn't hers. The only way Ginny could move on was, to actually move on.

"Mum, I'm not pushing you or anyone away, I promise. Just because I like to be alone sometimes, doesn't mean you're losing me," trying to lighten the mood just a bit, she looked at her mother seriously. "I mean, you have to understand, I'm a woman now, Molly."

"Oh, please!" her mother said, a smile cracking lips.

"I'm serious! I need my space!"

All of a sudden, Ginny could feel tension back in the air. "Well, I suppose you'll have a lot of it soon enough. I mean, you want to move house as soon as possible, right?"

Fucking Ron, she thought angrily. She couldn't believe he told her about that, she had told him that in passing, she wasn't even sure he'd heard her.

"I'm going to murder him!"

"Now, Ginny, calm down. I practically made him tell me and well, he was worried about you, It's -"

"Worried about me?! That tosser! He's leaving soon too, you know?"

"Oh, I know! Obviously. I'm not angry, love," she paused, looking down at the table, and Ginny knew she was trying to keep from crying. She looked back up, raising her hand To Ginny's cheek and stroking it gently."it's normal, I don't expect you to stay here forever. You're right, you have become, quite the lovely young woman,"

"Mum,"

"It's all right, sweetheart. We still have one year until you graduate, and I assume, the summer after?" She finished hopefully.

Oh, shit. She wasn't ready to talk about not returning to Hogwarts. She would tell her later, she hasn't even really, totally decided yet, she still had time. It was fine.

"Right, yeah, of course. Let's not think about it, though, like you said, we have time,"

"All right, then," her mother smiled, moving around the kitchen, preparing the food. "everyone's coming back here for Lunch from Hogwarts, by the way. You should've been there this morning, Ginny. It's almost all the way done,"

"Mum, stop trying to get me to help, I told you, I'm just not up for it. Besides, I'm sure you've got more than enough hands helping you. You don't need me,"

Also, I'm all good on the panic attacks, thanks. She thought to herself.

"I have stopped trying to get you to do anything a long time ago, Ginevra. Will Neville and Luna be joining us? They weren't at Hogwarts this morning,"

Another thing she didn't want to chat about with her mother. She hasn't been in touch with her best friends as much as she would have liked to, not that they weren't persistently trying. Non-stop letters and surprise visits to the Burrow, but for the past two weeks, they've quieted down a bit. She missed them terribly, she missed being around them all the time. But sadly, that didn't change the fact that things were just easier when she were by herself.

"I haven't heard from them lately. Maybe, they just took the day off or something,"

"Perhaps,"

There were loud noises by the front door of the Burrow and Ginny knew that everyone's arrived. Even though, they were all talking over each other, she could single out his voice. Harry was here, and it was going to be another day of her avoiding being alone with him, which wasn't as easy as she thought it would be, since he's been staying with them. She's been avoiding having any kind of real conversation with him, just the casual obligatory, 'Hi, how are you today?' Or 'Hey, Mum says she needs you in the kitchen'. It was getting to Harry and she could feel his frustration, rising more and more every day. There hasn't been a day that's passed that he hadn't asked if they could go for a walk or go somewhere 'private' where they could talk. And she'd found an excuse to get out of it every time.

She'd thought he was dead. She had _believed_ he was dead. And even though, she could see him alive and well, that feeling hasn't left her. She didn't think it would ever go away.

* * *

_Harry was alive. Voldemort was gone._

_It's been three days since the Battle has ended, and Ginny was still repeating the mantra in her head. Harry is alive. Voldemort is gone._

_She hasn't talked to him yet, whenever he walked into a room, she walked out. It felt like, she didn't know how to communicate with him anymore. As though, he was nothing but a figment, that she needed to create, to keep her head above water._

_They were all still at Hogwarts, students were still being accounted for. They were still counting the dead. People being transported to the Hospital Wing or St. Mungo's, depending on the severity of their injury, she has just come back from her second check up, and she immediately went back to her dorm to take a shower._

_Not long after, she decided to visit the Quidditch pitch, but instead of flying, she found herself standing there in the middle of the pitch, broomstick in hand, staring at the sky. It's been so long, she wanted to fly so badly, but something was holding her back. She knew from the knots in her stomach, it was anxiety, she was scared and worried. What if she got up there and they pronounced another one of her friends, dead. They've already lost Colin, Paravti, Alice, Cormac, Lavender, Carla, Hannah. . .the list just didn't seem to stop._

_She couldn't fly, it wasn't the time for such luxury._

_Exhaling, she quickly banished her broom back to the shed and turned around, speeding up, eager to get back inside. As she was exiting the pitch, she took a sharp left and collided with a hard body._

_"Shit!"_

_"Ow!"_

_Taking a step back to steady herself, she looked up to meet Harry potter's wide green eyes._

_Ginny inhaled sharply at the sensation rushing through her. His eyes. His face. His proximity. It was too much all at once. Her eyes finally ran over him, he was wearing dark jeans and his old grey jumper. His entire body looked as if it were preparing to run before she got there, his face looked flushed, eyes still wide, as if he got caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. He was embarrassed. Confused, Ginny squinted her eyes at him, and that was when her eyes found the map that had fallen on the ground during their collision. The Marauder's Map. He already knew where she was._

_She didn't know what to say. What could she say to someone who just saved the Wizarding world? What could she say to a dear friend she hasn't seen in over a year?_

_"Were you following me, Harry?"_

_That was good a start as any, she supposed._

_Harry's eyes closed suddenly, she could see his chest moving up and down visibly. When he still hasn't answered, she started to get a little worried._

_"Uh...Harry?"_

_His eyes opened quickly."Oh, sorry, it's just your voice, y'know? I haven't really h- " he stopped, taking a deep breath. "no..I wasn't following you - I mean, I was looking for you. . . Yeah."_

_Ginny simply looked at him, she understood what he meant, she had missed his voice too. She wasn't ready to talk, and she honestly didn't think he was either. Ginny suddenly realized that, they've been staring at each other for quite some time, with all the anxiety that was rising up in her, telling her to get the fuck out of there. She couldn't stop looking at him, she didn't want to stop._

_They were alone. It was quiet. And he was taking her in, his eyes were intensely running over every inch of her body. His eyes held so much longing, it was almost painful staring into them, they were showing so much emotion, and Ginny felt trapped in their storm._

_He abruptly stepped towards her with a loud exhale. And then she found herself wrapped up in his arms._

_Her whole body went rigid, her heart constricting painfully at his familiar touch. Although, she wasn't hugging him back, he didn't let go, he only hugged her closer, afraid that she might pull away, it was as if he was silently begging her, to please hug him back, she could hear his harsh breathing against her neck, puffing though her hair._

_With one deep breath, Ginny felt all her worries, fears, and exhaustion leave her body as she breathed out. She let go of it all and sagged against him in relief. Her eyes were stinging with tears, as she raised her arms with urgency and wrapped it around him tightly, pulling him even closer._

_"Ginny. . .Ginny," he breathed, his face burrowed in her neck. "I - I can't believe. . . " his voice was muffled against her, she couldn't hear much, but she felt him saying her name over and over again._

_"Shhh. . .it's okay, Harry, it's okay."_

_Ginny didn't care about how long they stayed in their embrace, and neither did Harry. They stood there, hugging each other so tightly as if it were their last day on earth, which was kind of sad, since technically, their lives has just begun._

_Lost in their hug, Ginny felt as though, they were sharing burdens, it usually felt like that with Harry, their friendship was based on understanding, honesty, and the ability to lean on each other. And as they were embracing, she could feel both of them letting go of the pain, even if just momentarily, because, they trust that they can hold each other up._

_After a long while, Ginny started to slowly move away. When she pulled back enough to see Harry's face up close, she noticed the dark bags under his teary eyes, as he softly smiled at her. His arms were still around her, refusing to let go. So, Ginny had no choice but to rest her hands on his chest, falling into a state of tranquility, as they both just stood in each other's arms comfortably._

_"Ginny. . . I'm so sorry about Fred,"_

_And tranquility broken. Ginny gently pushed at his chest, so she could move back a step. He reluctantly let his arms fall back to his side._

_"Sorry, I didn't mean- "_

_"It's okay, it's not your fault," Ginny quickly cut in. "but I don't really want to talk about it. . .not right now,"_

_"Yeah, of course, I get it. We'll talk later,"_

_She could hear the determination and promise in his voice and she didn't know how to feel about it._

_"Right."_

_It was starting to get awkward and silent again and she hated it. It was sad, because it wasn't supposed to be difficult. They were too good of friends to let it get to that. She reckoned that was the result of having too much to say and not really knowing where to start, or if you even want to start at all, really. She looked up at the sky, wondering, if she could just leave and go back to the Great Hall. She could feel Harry's eyes firmly on her, she didn't think they've left her since they caught sigh of her. _ _Just as she was about to tell him that she was heading back, he spoke up._

_"You didn't fly," it wasn't a question._

_"Yeah, I was going to . . . But I changed my mind," she answered, directing her gaze to him, before moving it back up again._

_"Why?"_

_It was blunt. That was what always made their friendship so special. They were honest, they called each other out. They didn't bullshit or beat around the bush. That was how they were. Harry asking her a simple question of 'why' was different then. Because in that moment, she had a strange urge to tell him it was none of his business, or just any cliched, standoffish response. She pushed that urge down, though. It was Harry. And they had promised to always be truthful with one another, no matter how big or small the issue was. _ _Besides, she was pretty sure he already knew her answer anyway._

_"It didn't feel right,"_

_"You felt guilty," again, he wasn't asking._

_"Yeah, I mean, people are dead, people are fighting to stay alive, there's just too much going on,"_

_He was quiet for bit. "I understand, but, we both know why you want to fly right now,"_

_"Harry,"_

_"It's the same reason I want to fly right now, it's obviously not out of disrespect or because we don't care. We fly, so we can breathe."_

_She smiled sadly at him in recognition, as she remembered all of the conversations they have had about flying and what it meant to them. They used to fly whenever the mood struck, but they always used to fly when something bad happened. From death and the looming danger of Voldemort, to anxiety about exams, or simply just having a bad day. She recalled, that one time when he had asked her why they loved flying so much, and she had answered; because it was like breathing. We fly to breathe, she'd said._

_"Come on, Ginny," he started with a smile. "Let's Just fly, I promise nothing's gonna happen in the next hour,"_

_He could clearly see, she was still hesitant. He quietly took a step forward and extended his hand._

_"Breathe with me."_

_And if it were any other day, she would have mercilessly made fun of him for that cheesy line._

_"Idiot." s_ _he couldn't help telling him._

_His smile widened brightly, eyes lighting up at her familiar comment. "Guilty."_

_Maybe it was because of his smile, or because that feeling of safety, she has always felt around him. All of a sudden, she wanted to fly again, having Harry there, made her feel less anxious, even if she didn't believe that everything was going to be okay, for a moment, she wanted to forget and be able to relax, just for a second._

_She took harry's hand, before summoning broomsticks from the broomshed, once they straddled them, ready to take off, they looked at each other, grinning widely. Ginny thought it was crazy, how in that moment it felt like, they were never separated, like a year hasn't gone by. As though, none of those tragedies happened, and nothing has changed. It was just Ginny and Harry, and the world has stopped for them. So they could breathe._

_When they were in the air, there were silent moments, they just flew alongside one another, and then stopping, hovering in comfortable silence. But then, they were racing each other, flying as high as they could and diving right back down, laughing and smiling, just like old times._

_It was only when they landed on their feet, and quietly started making their way back inside, that Ginny was lost again._

* * *

"There is no way that's true!"

Ron's voice snapped her out of her reverie.

"I'm telling you, it's been there for years, Ronald!" said Hermione. Ginny didn't know what they were talking about and she didn't care. Honestly, it was kind of annoying that the bickering hasn't lessened, since they've finally got together.

The moment he walked in, Harry's eyes zeroed in on her. And while she didn't meet them, she could still feel them on her skin, her body tingling with his attention. Everybody was chatting and gathering around the table, Ginny was putting sandwiches on a plate, planning to go back up to her room, so she can eat in peace. But then, both her parents glared at her, knowing what she was about to do. She rolled her eyes, raising her arms in surrender, before slumping down a chair, that was purposely the farthest from Harry. Ron was taking a seat next to her, which was fine, but what wasn't fine, was how close he was to her. He kept moving his chair closer and closer.

"Ron. . .what are you doing?"

"You know, Ginny? For someone who lives in the same house as me, you're pretty hard to find,"

"I'll take that as compliment, Ronnie,"

"It wasn't," he replied, then added the usual retort. "Don't call me that, Ginevra,"

"Sure thing, Ronnie,"

"I need to talk to you about something," he was suddenly whispering, his tone serious.

Ginny could still sense those green eyes on her, and she slightly panicked, what if Ron wanted to talk to her about Harry. She didn't think Harry would tell Ron to talk to her, but still.

"Relax, it's not about why you're avoiding Harry," he said. She looked at him in surprise.

"You're not subtle, Gin," he smirked.

"There's nothing to be subtle about,"

"Right, sure."

"Ugh, what do you want to talk about, then?"

"Well, it is about Harry, actually. . . and me,"

"Oh, Ron," she sighed. "you're leaving Hermione to be with him, aren't you?"

"You should be a comedian," he deadpanned.

"Well, that _would_ make me a lot of money,"

He rolled his eyes, but she could see a small grin on his lips. "Listen, I need your opinion on something, let's talk after dinner tonight or whatever, so. . . just be around."

She got a bit worried. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he said quickly. "Everything is good, just need to go over something with you,"

"Okay."

After she finished her meal, she waited a few minutes, listening to the chatter around the table, before naturally making her escape upstairs to her room, knowing Harry's eyes were following her, until she was out of his sight.

Not five minutes later, there was a knock on her door, and she instantly knew who it was. She tried to do her usual routine, and pretended not to hear the door. He usually gave up after about ten minutes, they all did. But there was more persistence this time, he stopped for a while, and then came right back, knocking again.

"I'm not leaving this time, Ginny. Open the door."

She sighed to herself, before finally deciding to open the door, what was the worse that could happen? it wasn't like he could force her to talk. Ginny waved her wand to unlock the door, and a second later, Harry was inside her room. He gently closed the door behind him, and then proceeded to lean on it, crossing his arms behind his back. She till couldn't believe how much of a change the past year had on him, especially physically. Harry was always attractive, but he was a lot more grown up, in every way. She's never really minded or found it weird, when she thought about how handsome he was. It was natural, and she's never really given it much thought, she found lot of blokes attractive.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Hey,"

"Hogwarts is almost ready,"

"I heard," she replied.

He turned his head up to the ceiling."You shouldn't just hear about it, though, I mean, you should see it for yourself,"

"I know what Hogwarts look like, Harry,"

His eyes snapped to hers. "You know what I mean, Ginny,"

"Yeah. . .I know,"

Ginny realized that a part of her, really wanted to tell him about her struggles with going there, her attacks and everything, she knew he would understand, he had known about them before, he'd even experienced it himself. She finally felt this familiar wave of comfort from him being there, and she wanted to confide in her friend. But that part, that was telling her to open up, was really small. She didn't want to unfold everything else.

"Why are you avoiding me?" his voice was soft and vulnerable.

Fucking hell. That was why. She was, in many ways trying to stay away from everyone, but Harry, in particular, was the person she tried to dodge the most. Because there was way too much to unpack with Harry. They were apart for a year. That year had majorly changed both of them, in ways, that were going to take a long time to grasp. She just wanted things to remain static, and not face them for a while, and that might've been unhealthy, but that was where she was at. And for some reason, in a truly unHarry-like manner, he wanted to talk. He should have known that she wasn't ready, they have always given one another enough time and space to process things first, before confronting and calling each other out.

"Harry, I'm not av - "

"Don't," he gritted, voice hard. "Don't make a fool out of both of us, just talk to me,"

"That's the whole fucking point, I don't want to talk!"

"Tough shit," he left his position on the door and walked over to the middle of the room, and stopped for a second, seemingly making a decision to either join her on the bed, or go for the desk chair. He looked at her with unreadable eyes, and she frowned slightly, why was he even taking the time to think about it? He opted for the chair, moving it closer to where she sat on the bed before sitting down.

"Ginny," he said softly. "are you angry with me?"

Even though, it was posed as a question, it really wasn't one. Because he knew she was. They both knew, she was a little more than angry with him, and they both knew why. But, she didn't want to open that can of flobberworms just yet, because her emotions were always bubbling up around him, and that was without any kind of talking. If they started down that path of topics, it would be a never-ending cycle of gut-wrenching, heartbreaking conversations, and fighting. And Ginny was exhausted. All the time.

"I can't, Harry," for a second she wasn't sure she had said that. Her voice sounded broken; and she couldn't meet his eyes.

"Can't what?" he whispered.

"All of it. . . I just can't."

He seemed to understand as he reached out, taking her hand in his and squeezing tightly. Warmth spread through her at the gesture, and she found the strength to continue.

"I _am_ angry. With you, the world . . .myself," she took a long breath. "And it feels like if I open that gate, it will just be this. . .perpetual flood, you know? I'm overwhelmed and I just wanna leave it behind,"

"Gin, I don't - "

"And I know_, _holding it in is not the answer. . .sharing feelings and all that," she caught his eyes then. "But. . .I can't."

He was silent for a moment as his eyes broke away from hers. "You know that I'm not eager to talk about it either, Gin. It's too difficult to explain, and all too painful. Honestly, I would be happy if I never mention any of it again," he said.

"Not when it comes to you, however," he continued, green eyes back on hers steadily. "the only person I want to talk to, is you."

While Harry had said similar things to her in the past, Ginny still felt his words seep into her, all the way to her heart, where they wrapped themselves around it firmly.

"Well, whenever I'm ready to talk, you're the only person I want to annoy, too," she smiled.

Harry closed his eyes, shaking his head for a second at her reply, before letting out a quiet laugh.

"I can't wait," he said through his light chuckles. Ginny wanted to soak up the soft sound. The moment they were having, was much better than keeping away from him, she didn't want to do it anymore. They didn't speak for some time, more than comfortable to just be in each other's presence. And as Ginny marveled one more time, over how easy it felt to be in touch with him again after so long, she noted, that they were still holding hands.

"So. . . how do you want to do this?"

She knew what he was asking, he wanted to know how she wanted to proceed. She let go of his hand to give herself a minute, chewing on her lips in thought.

"I - there's no one way, really. Let's just ignore it, I guess,"

"Ignore it how?"

"You know," she tried to hand gesture her point.

"Not really, no,"

"For fuck's sake, Harry, you're intentionally making this harder!"

"I am not," he defended in frustration, "I'm just trying to do this exactly on your terms, so you don't run out of every room I walk into,"

She gaped at him, before conceding. "Harsh. . . but fair,"

"Okay, we'll just be as we were before. . .just going through life, not paying attention to the multiple erumpents in the room," she shrugged. Harry smiled at her response, but she could plainly see the sadness that flashed in his eyes at her words. He let out a breath, staring down.

"We'll talk eventually, right? About. . . everything, because, there's so much I need to tell you, Gin," his voice almost sounded scared, as though, he feared she was going to back out. But Ginny wasn't stupid, she knew, all of it had to come crashing down in the end.

"Of course, Harry, let's just give ourselves some time first,"

He still looked unsure and disappointed, but nodded nonetheless. "Okay,"

"Okay."

It was a moment before Harry spoke again, "Hermione wants Ron and I, to go help her buy a few things for her parents, wanna come?"

While he couldn't help the hopeful note in his voice, Ginny could see that his face was a little guarded, ready for her to say no. And sadly, she was going to prove him right.

"Erm. . .I'm not really in the mood to go out,"

He sighed, looking at her with defeat and longing. "Promise me, that we'll hang out tonight, then, or soon, at least,"

Ginny's heart broke a little at his words, she tried to smile."Absolutely, I mean, there's obviously no question about it, Potter,"

"Promise me, Ginny." he remained serious, staring at her intensely.

"I promise, Harry."

There was a quick knock on her door, and they both jumped at the sound.

"Come in," Ginny called out. The door was gently pushed open to reveal Neville, as he took a step inside her room.

"Oh! Hey, Harry," he smiled in greeting, a flash of surprise in his eyes.

"Hey, Neville," Harry smiled back.

Neville looked at them for a minute, before settling his eyes on Ginny. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No." Harry and Ginny answered at the same time, and Ginny couldn't help but give Neville a weird look. Why the hell would he think he is interrupting something? she thought to herself.

"Actually," Harry started, standing up. "I was about to leave, have to help Hermione with something," he walked to the door, passing Neville and slapping him on the shoulder. "I'll see you later, mate,"

"See ya, Harry," replied Neville.

Once he stepped outside, Harry wheeled around to look at Ginny with a wide grin, his eyes reminding her of her promise. "I'll see you, Weasley."

"I'll see you, Potter." she grinned back.

After Harry closed the door behind him, she turned around to face a beaming Neville.

"Finally! I'm so happy you're talking to him again, it was getting ridiculous," he said, taking the empty chair and moving it back to her desk, before sitting down. He was very obviously going through the stuff on her desk, not even trying to be discreet.

"What are you doing, Nev?"

Holding up a bunch of letters in his palm, he glared at her. "Oh, I'm just making sure your letters are actually being delivered to you. . . Well, look at that, they're all here!"

"I'm sorry, Neville, but in my defense, we do see each other often,"

"That is such a feeble excuse, and not even true," he complained, still looking through her stuff. "there are a few letters here from Eli,"

"Yeah,"

"Have you responded?"

"No," she didn't really want to talk about Eli, especially knowing how big of a fan Neville was of him.

"Come on, Gin! You should write him back,"

"No, I don't want to,"

"Why not? You guys were great together,"

"For the last time, Neville, we were never together, it was merely physical," he was just trying to get a rise out of her at that point.

"Trust me, I know how physical it was," he shuddered.

"And now you know, you always have to knock," she smirked.

"It was a Broom-cupboard! And you should have used proper locking spells - " he shook his head. "I'm not getting into this again!"

"Well, I mean, we weren't thinking clearly that day, we were practically tearin - "

"Ugh, Ginny!"

"You brought it up, mate," Ginny laughed.

"My apologies," he replied sarcastically, still snooping around her letters. "ooh, there's one from McGonagall,"

"I'm like a minute away from hexing you, Nev, stop going through my stuff!"

"Bloody hell, Gin! She says she wants to make you Head Girl _and _Captain of the Quidditch team, once the school reopens! Why didn't you say anything?!"

Ginny had entirely forgotten about that letter, because in all honesty, the news didn't excite her. Ginny didn't know if she should tell him, that she had little desire to go back. On the one hand, he would be more than understanding, on the other, he was going to freak out. But if she were honest with herself, she wanted someone's opinion on it.

"Because, I'm kind of, sort of, considering. . .not going back," she said nervously.

Silence. And then he was laughing for a good minute, before he noticed that her face hasn't changed.

"What? No! Why?!"

"I think you know why, Nev,"

He paused at this, taking a moment to ponder, before catching her eyes. "Ginny, I know it's hard, but you can't do this alone, You, Luna, and I are a team. The school needs you, Hogwarts is not the same without you,"

"Neville,"

"Ginny, you love Hogwarts!"

"I know I do! I consider it a second home, but that's not the point!"

"No, no, wait, you said you were considering it, so, you haven't made a decision yet!" he grabbed a quill from her desk and started writing.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm writing Luna, of course, telling her to get here, as soon as possible, so we can talk you out of this insanity!"

"Hey! I'm not insane!"

"Before I write her," he put the quill down and met her eyes." I want to tell you something. . .I was scared to die all of last year, we all were. . .but all I've kept thinking was 'I can't believe my last memory of Hogwarts, would be _this'. _Merlin, I was so happy when we somehow managed to find a few, rare moments of peace. . .and normality,"

"And then, the War was over, and I was still scared," he said, eyes shining with tears."Because my last memory of it, was still the same, but then, McGonagall said, that I could come back to repeat my seventh year . . . any seventh year student is welcome to try again, if they want to. . .Ginny, we all have a second chance. . .to actually go to class and not be afraid, to study. . .to have _fun_, to do anything that doesn't involve fighting for our lives every day. And because I have that chance. . .I'm not scared anymore."

It was such a nice way of looking at things. Ginny wished, she had the same positive take on it. She didn't want the past year to be her last memory of Hogwarts, either. But she knew, things were not so simple for her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you see my problem?"

Ginny looked at Ron, brows knitted lightly. It's been two days since he told her they needed to talk, and he finally managed to get a minute alone with her.

"Not really. You want to go back to Hogwarts. So go,"

"Are you even listening? Harry is not going back,"

"So?"

"So? So, I-I can't just leave him,"

"You're not leaving him, Ron. You don't have to be together all the time, you know that, right?"

"Obviously," he huffed, "It's just that I might have sided with him about not going when we discussed it, Hermione clearly wanted to go back, Harry didn't, and I just agreed with him,"

"Was she upset?"

"No, even when I told her that I didn't really mean it and that I actually wanted to go back with her. She understands why I should stay with him,"

"Okay," Ginny sighed. "It sounds like you've already made your decision,"

"Exactly, sounds like it. I've changed my mind, though. And I haven't told either one of them,"

"Why haven't you told Hermione?"

"Because I know what she is going to say. That I should stay back and that Harry needs me," he smiled fondly at the ground. "She can be very understanding, you know."

She rolled her eyes. "Sap,"

"Shut up,"

"Here's my advice, Ronnie. You shouldn't make your decision based on Hermione or Harry, focus on what you want,"

It took him a minute before he answered. "I think I want to go,"

"You don't sound so sure,"

"No, no, I am sure,"

"Really? Cause, not gonna lie, it's weird to hear you actually say the words, I want to go back to school,"

"I was surprised too!" He grinned, "I've really grown up,"

"Are you sure it's not just because of Hermione? Because it shouldn't be,"

"I mean, it's obviously a huge perk, but, that's not it, I honestly wanna go back. I miss Hogwarts, it would be nice to just have a quiet, normal year for once,"

"Well, you just jinxed it. It'll probably be your worst year yet,"

He groaned. "God, no. Don't even joke about that,"

"Well," she shrugged. "All you have to do is tell Harry,"

"I can't, Ginny! We've made plans, getting a flat, signing up for the Auror Training Programme,"

Ginny almost scoffed at him, knowing that there was a very high possibility that they wouldn't need to actually sign up. Especially Harry, if he asked for it, it would probably be given. She reckoned however, that Harry might not be so keen on that offer.

"Yeah, that sucks. But you don't really have a choice, though. Are you waiting for him to figure it out as you get on the train?"

"Ginny - "

"I don't think he cares as much as you think he does, I'm sure he'll understand and support you, even,"

"That's what he would say, I'm sure. It's Harry. But I know better. It's gonna be really difficult for him without us. And, It wouldn't be the same without him at Hogwarts, anyway,"

"Have you guys tried speaking with him about it?"

"We tried, it was Hermione mostly, trying to convince both of us. It was quite the long discussion,"

"I thought you said she was 'very understanding',"

He smiled. "Yeah, she was. After all the talking,"

"Sounds about right," Ginny chuckled, pausing a little in thought. "He'll be fine, Ron. Just talk to him,"

He hesitated for a second, seeming nervous. "Well, actually, I was thinking, maybe you could do it,"

"Do what?"

"Talk to him,"

"About you going back? That'll just make you look worse,"

"No, I'll tell him that. Maybe, you could tell him that going ba - "

she was shaking her head before he could finish,"No, no, I'm not telling Harry that he should go back to Hogwarts,"

"Ginny, if there's anyone that could get him to - "

"What happened to being understanding, Ron?

"I understand, believe me! But, I don't think he fully thought it all the way through, maybe you could - "

"Forget it, Ron!"

"Why?"

"You know as much as I do that once Harry makes up his mind, It's done. Also, you're just being like that because you feel guilty,"

"Ginny,"

"And I know how he feels! I don't want to go either!" she blurted out.

Ron blinked. "What?"

"I-I'm still considering it,"

"Ginny, I don't understand," his voice was small, trying to process what she'd said.

"I just - don't want to, I think,"

"Ginny," he started softly. "We've heard about what was happening at Hogwarts - "

"You don't know the half of it, Ron. Don't even try."

"It was much worse, wasn't it?"

She knew he wasn't waiting for an answer, so she just stayed silent, staring at his bedroom wall. She really hoped he wouldn't try to get her to open up.

"Ginny," he let out a breath. "Will you talk to me about it?

She wasn't surprised by his question, she gave him a sad smile. "Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know where to start, seriously, just forget it."

"Shit, Ginny, I - " he was staring at the ground, before he looked up at her, eyes blinking rapidly, "I'm so sorry."

She was a little taken aback by his reaction. "For what?"

"I wasn't there and I sh - "

"Don't. Don't do that!" she bit out harshly. She didn't need him, she never did,"First of all, there was nothing you could've done. Second of all, I'm more than capable of taking care of myself, Ron,"

He had no idea just how capable she was.

"Whoa, don't get so defensive, Gin. I know you can handle anything, I was only saying - "

"Let's just drop it."

There was a quick knock on the door, Ron drew a breath, before calling out for the person to come in. A second later Harry strolled in, he looked at Ginny with a surprised smile."Hey, Ginny,"

"Hi, Harry," she grinned back. "Why did you knock? Isn't this kind of your bedroom too?"

"I thought Hermione was here," he said, walking over and sitting next to her on his bed, "There's been a couple of incidents," he explained with a shudder.

She laughed at the revulsion on his face, while Ron flushed at his remark. "Ron is blushing, Harry. Isn't that just the cutest thing?"

Harry smirked. "It's bloody adorable,"

"Fuck off!" Said Ron.

"Now Ron, watch your language, we all know your girlfriend wouldn't appreciate that, would she, Harry?" she said, her voice lilted with a teasing emphasis on the word girlfriend.

"You're absolutely right, Ginny. His girlfriend would probably rip his tongue out,"

"Exactly, though now that they're together, she'd probably just bite it off with her - "

"All right! Both of you, shut up!"

"Okay, let's talk about something else. Hey, Ron, don't you have something you want to tell Harry?"

Ron glared at her and she glared right back, Harry was confused looking between the two of them, she felt Ron needed the push, he might have actually been planning on waiting before he got on the train.

"What's going on?" Asked Harry.

"Nothing. Everything is brilliant, mate!"

"For fuck's sake, Ron, just tell him."

"Not now!"

"Then when?"

"Uh, tell me what?" Harry asked, his tone a bit nervous.

Ron sighed deeply, sending another glare her way."I - I want to go back to Hogwarts,"

Harry paused with a frown. "Oh,"

"Look, Harry, if you don't want me to - "

"What? No, Ron, you should go if you want to, it's fine," she knew Harry was lying immediately. She could tell the new information startled him.

"Harry, you don't have to - " Ron started.

"Honestly, Ron, it's all right, I was just surprised,"

"Harry, mate - "

"All right, I'll leave you guys to talk." Ginny said, moving to stand up, they needed to have a chat alone.

"Ginny is not going either!" Ron exclaimed suddenly .

Harry whipped his head around so fast to stare at her. She narrowed her eyes at Ron, he simply shrugged.

"Really?" Harry asked with a low voice.

She took a heavy breath. "Well, I'm kinda still mulling it over, but I'm most likely not going,"

she couldn't tell how he felt from his face, he simply just gazed at her, as if trying to find out her reasoning without asking. If she could still read him as well as before, she'd say he didn't know whether to be happy or worried. Before he could say anything, though, she stood up and rushed quickly to the door.

"I gotta go to Luna's, I'm quite late," she said with a wave of her hand. "See you later."

* * *

She's been at Luna's for a few hours and she was glad to have come, she's really missed her friend. They've done nothing but eat and lie around and Ginny was loving it.

She was afraid it was still going to be tense and awkward after what had happened that night. They haven't talked about Luna petrifying her. While it all turned all right in the end, Harry was alive and Voldemort was gone, Ginny couldn't help but feel a little angry at her. She kind of understood why Luna did it, but that didn't stop Ginny from hating the feeling of utter helplessness and panic she had felt when that spell hit her, it was definitely a part of why she didn't speak to Luna as much afterwards. And Ginny most definitely did not want talk about the fact that she'd murdered a child, either. She was trying to block all of it out and put it far away with everything else.

"You keep adding the weirdest stuff to your room," she remarked, looking around Luna's bedroom and all the small, strangely shaped items covering the walls, Ginny truly didn't know what to call them. "By weirdest, I mean coolest, of course,"

"Of course," Luna smiled,"Nice save,"

"So. . .Hogwarts?" Luna then asked with a timid voice.

She groaned, "Thinking about this is driving me mad, Luna! I keep telling myself that I'm not not going back, but something is stopping me from fully committing to my decision, you know?"

"I think it means that the part of you that wants to return is stronger than you think," replied Luna.

"Yeah, it's persistent, that's for sure. But, I can't, can I? The memories, the nightmares are enough. It's a little hard to picture being there, just walking around, going to class,"

It all feels trivial, she added to herself.

"It's definitely going to be strange, but I believe there's a bit of hope in it as well, hope for the students and their families. A future after all the destruction,"

Ginny was frustrated, because Luna's words, much like Neville's, made sense in the grand scheme of things, but they didn't resonate with her. Not the mind or the heart. She suddenly felt a wave of anxiety swirl around her stomach.

"I hope you decide to come back with us, but I want you to know, I'll support it if you decide otherwise,"

That surprised her,"Really?"

"Ginny, I trust that you know your limits, there's no shame in taking time for yourself and focusing on your well-being,"

Something in how Luna put it didn't set well with Ginny. Shame? She wasn't ashamed. It wasn't great that she might decide on not finishing her education and graduate, but shame never entered her mind or her well-being, for that matter. Ginny didn't care about any of that, she just didn't feel the motivation to go back, she also wasn't keen on being surrounded by the phantom traumatic scenes on every corner of that school.

"Thanks, I guess," Ginny said a little awkwardly, suddenly feeling a bit odd, "It's good that I still have a little time to make a final decision."

"Hmm, yes," Luna stroked her own hair calmly. "I'm really glad you're here, Ginny. You've been keeping to yourself a lot lately,"

"Sorry about that," She sighed, before changing the subject. "Is Neville still coming?"

"He said he'd try and stop by after he leaves Padma's," replied Luna.

"Right, Padma. I hope she's doing okay. Have you talked to her?" she felt a stir of guilt for not trying to reach out to her friend.

"A couple of times with Neville. I think she's getting a little better,"

"I don't really know how much better she could get, she lost her twin," Ginny said cynically, her heart aching as she thought of Fred and George, she put a palm on her chest to try and calm the sudden pounding.

"Eventually," Luna said, eyes facing ahead, "It'll be alright, eventually,"

Ginny didn't believe that, but she kept her mouth shut.

"She only opens up to Neville, he makes her smile," Luna continued, still looking away and not at her.

She knew about Neville's feelings for Padma, even before he did. Though, he tried to convince Ginny that he was very much over it and that they were friends and nothing more. She still noticed his longing looks, she also noted Padma taking an interest in the last couple of years.

"Well, that's good, I mean, at least she's talking to someone,"

"Yes," Luna's eyes wavered briskly, before turning to face her. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you talking to someone?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know you haven't been talking to Neville or myself a lot, so, is there anyone you're talking to?"

She stiffened. "There's nothing I wanna talk about,"

"There's too much, I reckon," Luna replied. "I'm your friend, you can confide in me, Ginny,"

"Like I said - "

"For me, there's something I'd really like to talk about with you, what happened in the Forbidden Forest with Akkila and Harry - "

"Luna, stop. I don't want to get into this."

How could Luna think that she was anywhere near ready to even bring up that night. They were having such a nice time, chatting about practically nothing and only for a second, Ginny felt a tad normal again.

"I don't think it matters if you want to, Ginny. You have to,"

She sat up straighter, feeling agitated. " I'm fine, Luna,"

"No, you're not,"

"Excuse me?"

"I think you should see someone,"

"Someone?"

"Yes, a Healer. For counseling,"

"Luna, I'm handling it."

"I don't see the problem. You told me you've gone before, after the Chamber Of Secrets,"

Ginny stood up from her chair, "That was different, I'm older now and I know - "

"Age has nothing to do with it, Ginny,"

"I know that, I just mean - "

"If you think you're doing fine, why are you considering not going to Hogwarts?"

"Because - because, after everything, it's not exactly my favorite place in the world!"

"Which means you need to overcome what happened, which means you need help," Luna conveyed in a calm voice, a voice that Ginny hated when it was being used in an argument.

"How about you, Luna? Have you been going to a Healer?" she sniped.

"You know I don't do things in the traditional sense, Ginny. But, I have been going to my Seer and she's been really helpful,"

Ginny couldn't help the laugh that came out. "I'm sorry, but, a fucking Seer!"

"Yes," said Luna defensively.

"Aren't you kind of a Seer yourself? How is that helpful?"

"It's different, she's the woman I've told you about, she's known me for a long time. I tell her everything. No matter how small. She helps me. She keeps me calm,"

"Well, good for you," she took her wand out, turning from her spot quickly, more than ready to leave. "I gotta go, have a good night,"

"Ginny,"

"Good night, Luna."

"Okay," Luna inhaled softly and was back to staring at nothing. "Ginny, you should know, I have a feeling you shouldn't go back to Hogwarts."

"What?"

"I don't think it would be good for you,"

"Why?"

"Don't get me wrong. I obviously think you should finish school, Ginny. But if you refuse to get help first, you won't be able to handle it." Luna paused, looking back at her, eyes soft and open,"It's the truth, Ginny, I'm only trying to help, all I want - "

She didn't want to hear it, with a flick of her wand, she was gone and standing in front of the Burrow.

* * *

Ginny hadn't felt anger in while, she knew she wasn't mad at Luna, a part of her knew she was right.

She couldn't stop thinking about what Luna said regarding Hogwarts. She didn't know what she was talking about, Ginny could handle it, she just didn't want to, didn't see the point, really. While Ginny was very stubborn, she wasn't dumb, she wasn't going to go back to Hogwarts just to prove a point to Luna and everyone else. She had nothing to prove. But that didn't stop the paranoid questions that were already bouncing around her brain non-stop for the past two months.

Was she being a coward? Was she being weak and pathetic? Overreacting? Unnecessarily sensitive?

Was she hiding?

A lot of people were at Hogwarts last year and they were fine, they were going back. No problem. They were excited even. Happy to go back to a place that only a few months ago, brought them nothing but fear, panic and death. She was sure that they were struggling as well, but they were pressing on. She was not, she was just alone in a corner and she couldn't understand how everyone else was hanging out in the middle of the room.

She was stuck.

And that was why, she abruptly realized, she had to go back. she wasn't sure if she ever really had a choice, she was fooling herself. Staying back wasn't going to help her move on or start anew, it was just pausing her life. Because she had no idea what she was going to do, if she chose not to finish school. All she knew was that she wanted to be far away from all the emotions it invoked, but that was the lazy way out.

* * *

_Ginny was on her way to detention. They were at War and she was going to fucking detention._

_She could feel it all around her in the air, the War was here. It's been a little over a week since she'd started her sixth year, and believe it or not, that was not her first detention of the year, if you could call it that. She was serving detention almost everyday, and they were getting worse and worse every time. They were getting cruel and as she walked toward the classroom, she wondered what was Carrow going to do this time, how was he going to find new ways to make it more perverse. Amycus Carrow. A known Death Eater, she still couldn't believe he was actually teaching at Hogwarts, Defense Against The Dark Arts, no less._

_Well, not so much the Defense part._

_Ginny took in a shaky breath, preparing herself for what was to come after she's entered the room. She only hoped that he would just leave her alone and not try to come near her. She closed her eyes and admitted quietly to herself that she was scared. But she was also brave. And she could take him on if he tried anything. Well, She could die trying, at least._

_As she marched in, she didn't notice him at first, she only noticed the three students standing in the middle of the room, far less than yesterday, Ginny felt dread settle in her stomach. She recognized all of them, two Gryffindors, third and fourth year, their names were Alice and Helena, if she remembered correctly, and Terry from Ravenclaw. They all turned to her, fear in their eyes._

_She exhaled, Spotting Amycus in the corner, walking toward the front of the class._

_"Ah, Weasley. A Sight for sore eyes," he said, eyes leering at her shamelessly, Ginny felt the dread in her stomach grow stronger as she walked to the rest of the students, without saying a word._

_"All right, shall we start, you," he said pointing to Terry, "Be a good lad and Cruciate this lovely thing, she's been very bad," he smiled pointing to Helena._

_Everything stilled. She heard the gasps around her, as her body tensed. She knew it was going to be bad, but her mind couldn't process what he'd said. It had to be a sick joke, but his maniacal laugh didn't come, he just stared at them, eyes black, gleaming with excitement._

_"What?" Terry's voice was filled with shock as Helena took a step backwards._

_"I think you heard me just fine," Amycus drawled, his grin wide._

_"He is not doing that!" Ginny glowered, stepping forward._

_"Sure he is."_

_"No, he's not! I'll tell -" Ginny began._

_"Tell who?" Amycus laughed. "Snape knows and even if he didn't, he couldn't stop me, if he wanted to,"_

_"How do none of you get this?" he spoke with a giggle. "I make the rules, we're in charge, you should be thanking me, this is the best way to teach someone a lesson,"_

_"You are insane! We are not going to torture each other," Ginny raised her voice._

_"Weasley, you know better than to talk to me like that,"_

_"I am not doing it." Terry said, his voice hard._

_"Yes, you will, or suffer the consequences,"_

_"I don't care," Said Terry._

_"Very well. I'll do it to both of you then." Amycus said, and before anyone could blink, he was aiming his wand at Helena. She fell on her knees, crying out._

_"Stop!" Ginny, Terry and Alice shouted in unison._

_"Gladly," he turned his wand on Terry, who dropped down next to Helena yelling in pain alongside her._

_Ginny immediately extracted her wand, which, she thankfully still had on her. "Expelliarmus!"_

_The Curse stopped, as Amycus' wand flew to Ginny's palm. The room was silent, the only noises heard were Helena and Terry wheezing and gasping painfully. Amycus' eyes were murderous, looking through her._

_"Everyone out, I need to have a chat with Weasley." when everyone stayed frozen in their place, the two on the floor, trying to hold in their groans of pain, he repeated with a shout. "Out, or I'll hang you till dawn!"_

_Ginny and Alice hurriedly bent down to help Terry and Helena stand, then all three stumbled and scurried out of the room, leaving Ginny standing alone facing Amycus, she tried to breathe in calmly. Amycus hummed, advancing on Ginny and stopping in front of her. She met his eyes, head on, raising her chin in challenge._

_"That was a very stupid move,"_

_"Sorry, I just didn't feel like watching my fellow students screaming in pain. I don't know what's wrong with me,"_

_"Ha! Oh, Weasley," he said, circling around until he was behind her. "You intrigue me so,"_

_She tried not to visibly flinch, especially when he leaned in and took a whiff of her hair as he touched it. She didn't want him to know that he was making her uncomfortable, knowing that he might actually like that and it would just get worse. It was different, she noted his invasive creepy stares, but he has never dared to stand so close, to actually touch her, her fists clenched by her sides, ready to fight._

_"You know, I don't remember you being this lovely," he inhaled, talking about the time he dueled her after Dumbledore's death,"You're a gorgeous little thing, Ginny,"_

_His breathing down her neck was nauseating enough, but the way he spoke her name, hissing it in her ear, knowing full well the disgust that it would cause her, was panic inducing. Her instinct pushed her fear away and kicked in her gut as she wrenched herself away from him, twirling to face him with a growl._

_"That's a very inappropriate thing to say, Professor."_

_His freaky smile didn't falter, if anything, it broadened. "Just making an observation,"_

_"Still very much inappropriate. Don't talk to me like that,"_

_"I'll talk to you however way I want to," he sneered._

_"No, you won't!" the vicious look that took over his eyes, almost made her take a step back._

_"You keep talking back, Weasley, it seems you still don't understand what's happening here. Don't make me kill you so early in the school year, you know I'll do it. Do as you're told."_

_"I highly doubt I'd be doing that. Plus, from what I've experienced, your methods of teaching - punishing will kill us all, anyway,"_

_He shrugged, "Not really my concern. It is very effective,"_

_"It's twisted and vile,"_

_"And effective," he repeated with a menacing smile. "you'll get used to it,"_

_"No, I won't - we won't. And we definitely shouldn't have to!"_

_"Just stop it. You're wasting your time and much more importantly, mine,"_

_"I will not stop. None of us will."_

_"Now you're just asking for it,"_

_"You will lose, you know that, right?"_

_"Lose what?" he inquired with a mocking grin, feigning ignorance._

_"Everything," she replied bravely, not caring about what was inevitably coming her way from him."And if you think that you can just take over Hogwarts without a fight, then you're even dumber than I thought,"_

_"Careful Weasley," he snarled. "Your beauty can only get you so far,"_

_He raised a hand and Ginny felt his wand, which she forgot was still with her, twitch in her hand and flying over to its owner's open palm._

_Wandless magic._

_It was something that Ginny strongly wanted to achieve and was well aware how difficult it was. Few witches and wizards were able to do it. She was already better than most with non-verbal magic and knew that wandless magic was something she wouldn't stop trying to perfect. She shouldn't have been surprised that Amycus could do it, he was a Dark Arts master._

_"Now," he said with glimmering eyes."for your punishment, I was hoping for something a bit more. . . enjoyable and creative, but I'm just too heated for that,"_

_And then she was on the ground, trying to hold in her screams as the Cruciatus hit her, her wand falling from her grasp and rolling away from her. Everything in her body stopped functioning, all she could fathom was the pain._

_"Ah, that's more like it,"_

_She could barely hear her own wails, let alone his voice, she wasn't sure her ears were even working. She wanted to die. Anything to stop the pain._

_She didn't know how long she was under the Curse, but she was sure it was far longer than she could endure, at some point she thought she saw him sitting down with a book in his hand, she didn't know if that was a scene that her brain conjured up. After what felt like days, she could make out the shadow of his body through her tears, swaying toward her._

_"Well," she could vaguely see his figure through her blurred vision. He knelt, taking her wand in his hand and shaking it at her."I'll be holding on to this for the time being,"_

_Ginny felt the curse stop, but it didn't matter, the pain stayed, wrecking her body, shaking her in waves, as she convulsed uncontrollably._

_The last thing she saw before she passed out was the foggy image of his sadistic smirk._

* * *

That had been the first time the Carrows used an Unforgivable on students. She wished she could say that was the worst of it, that they couldn't find even more fucked up ways to torment them.

"Ginny,"

She almost jumped at the voice, turning around quickly to look at Harry, standing behind her. When she arrived hastily outside of the Burrow instead of her room, she decided not to go in and just sat down, crossing her legs, staring at the sky, lost so much in thought, she didn't hear him come up to her.

"Harry,"

"What are you doing out here? I saw you from the window," he asked, seating his body down next to hers.

"Oh, you know, thinking," she told him softly.

"About?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she teased.

"I very much would, yes," he smiled.

She sighed. "Hogwarts,"

"Hmm," he waited for her to carry on.

"I'm still a little unsure about the whole not going thing, for some reason I can't stick to it,"

"Yeah?" his gaze left her, his fingers brushing the grass.

"Yeah, Luna and I sort of fought about it."

"She wants you to go, I get that,"

"No, actually. She thinks I shouldn't,"

"Really?" his eyes widened suddenly in fear. "What if she saw you? Something bad happening to you?"

She couldn't help but smile at that, she and Harry both never believed in those things, but they've both witnessed Luna being right quite a few times over the years to ever be completely skeptical about it.

"I don't think that's the case, don't worry,"

He gave her a look, "I'll always worry,"

While it was implied, she appreciated that he didn't say worry about you. He knew how much that pissed her off, seemed like he was learning from the past.

"Tell me about it. You need to relax, Potter,"

"You're one to talk," he snorted.

"Oh, please, I don't worry nearly as much as you and you know it. I'm breezy and fun,"

"That's True, but you can get a bit paranoid, don't try to deny it,"

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"I said a bit," his smile was teasing.

"If it weren't for me, you wouldn't know what the word relax means,"

"Well, that's pushing it,"

"Harry, I taught you how to have fun,"

He grinned. "It was the other was around, I think,"

She released a small laugh. " Have you hit your head recently? We've established this, you're the definition of angst,"

Harry rolled his eyes, his grin still very much present."Not this again,"

"Yes, this again," she nodded, smirking at him, singing a familiar melody. "Oh, Harry, angsty Harry, he is an angsty boy, all brooding - "

"Ginny,"

"No joy, ohhh Harry,"

"Please stop,"

"You know how it goes, Harry, sing along," she urged him. "Oh, he is an angsty boy - "

He reached out and put a hand around her mouth, "Ginny, I swear,"

The laughter and happiness his eyes were directing at her were familiar, as was his touch. However, none of that eased the tightness in her limbs, the tension that she could feel filling the air around them. His smile dropped, his eyes boring into hers with a mix of yearning and sadness, slowly he slid his hand away from her lips, before clearing his throat and looking away.

"So, what did she say?" he asked after a tense moment.

"What?"

"Luna,"

She sighed, "Nothing I don't already know or thought about a thousand times before,"

"Still staying then?" she could detect a hint of hope in his voice.

"Harry, there must be a reason why I'm so hesitant, I think I have to go, "

"You don't have to, if you don't want to,"

"Is that really how it is? School is a must, right? Whatever it is I'm dealing with doesn't matter,"

"Of course it matters, Ginny. Things are different with us, our lives have never been exactly normal,"

Harry knew her well enough to know she was doubting her strength. But, she still didn't want to bring attention to it, she didn't want to vocalize her thoughts of fear and weakness. So, she took a slightly safer approach.

"Say I don't go, then what? I have nothing planned,"

"Anything you want, you could take some time off, think about things. You could look for a flat, you've always wanted to live on your own,"

She laughed. "I'd need to get a job first for that."

"Then get a job,"

"Harry! What job? The best thing I could hope for without graduating, is a Waitress,"

"No, no, try out for the Harpies, like you've always wanted to! They'd take you in a heartbeat,"

"Or, I could sign up for the Auror Programme with you,"

When she was met with silence, she turned to him, observing, lifting her eyebrows, daring him to say anything on the matter, but he wasn't looking at her, his brows were furrowed as he stared ahead.

"Harry?"

"Right, sorry. It's just that you've always wanted to Play professional Quidditch,"

"It's one of the things I'd love to do, sure. Just like you would. Why do you always do that when I bring up me being an Auror?"

A part of her knew why, but she didn't want to acknowledge it, because then she would get angry, and she didn't want to fight with Harry.

"Do what?"

"Harry," she gave him a knowing look, "You know, acting all dodgy and fidgety,"

"I don't do that, I've never done that,"

"Off the top of my head, during the summer before my fifth year, I think. Remember, we were talking about the future and shit, you were acting weirder than usual,"

"I don't remember that," he said in a way that instantly let her know, he definitely remembered. "How would you even remember that?"

"Oh, Harry, ever the terrible liar,"

"I am not!"

"Oh, so you're a good liar?"

"You know what?" his smile was wide and his eyes bright. "If I were a liar, I'd be a good one,"

"Yeah, you're not, though,"

"Whatever you say, Weasley," it was a moment, before he started talking again, eyes a little nervous as he ran a hand through his hair. "you could, uh, stay with me at Grimmauld Place for a while, when I move there, just. . .until you figure stuff out,"

Her heart started beating a little faster at his suggestion for some reason, before she realized what he'd said.

"Wait, weren't you going to find a new place?" she knew it was hard for Harry to stay there after Sirius. He told her, he'd take care of it, but he wasn't sure if he could ever live there.

"Yeah, but with Ron going to Hogwarts soon, it seems pointless. I'll just stay there till the year ends,"

"Harry, you should get a new place, I'm sure Ron'll move in just fine after he's done,"

"Yeah, I know, I just - yeah, I'll think about it,"

"You should, and I might take you up on your offer, and stay with you for a while, not that I wouldn't stay at Grimmauld Place, of course, it's very spacious, albeit, a bit dark. . ."

She broke off when she noticed Harry staring intensely at her, his breathing a little heavier.

"You - you'd live with me?"

She frowned. "Yeah. . .I mean, I thought you wanted me to, uh, I know we were talking hypothetically - "

"What! No!" he corrected her quickly. "Of course, I want you to stay with me. I just didn't think you'd want to,"

"Why wouldn't I?" she wondered with a smile. "Actually, I don't really blame you for thinking that, after avoiding you for so long. But, it doesn't matter anyway, I'm going back after all,"

"Ginny, no," Harry said in a voice that almost sounded whiny. "you just feel like you have to go, you don't want to,"

"Harry,"

"You already promised me a flatmate,"

"I did no such thing!" she said with a short laugh.

But Harry wasn't laughing, his eyes were earnest, locking with hers.

"Ginny," he started, his voice low. "I think it would be good for you to have some time away. It doesn't make you weak,"

With that, whatever peace they were having was gone, she hated that word, but what she hated more was how he pin-pointed her problem in no time.

"That is not what I'm worried about!"

"Then what is it?"

"I can change my mind, okay? I'm allowed to."

"Why did you change it?"

"I actually want to finish school, I want to be back with my friends," she answered with irritation, raising her body up to stand, "and it might get worse if I don't go!"

"What might get worse?" he asked urgently, following her to his feet.

"My life. . .me - I might get worse,"

"Ginny," his voice was thick with worry.

"Harry," she rubbed her face with a huff, "I'm done thinking. I spent the last two month going back and forth on my decision. And you know what's the one thing I realized, I don't even care! Go, stay. Who gives a shit!"

"I've got nothing else to do," she continued, not looking him in the eye. "I might as well go,"

"Do you think I should go back then?" he asked, folding his arms.

"What? No!"

"Why not?"

"Why not?" she repeated incredulously. "I don't know, Harry. Maybe, because you don't want to go back,"

"That's not really an answer, Ginny,"

"Yes, it is,"

"I want to know, what do you really think about me not returning to Hogwarts?"

"I don't think anything about it,"

"Oh, come on!"

"It's a pointless question, Harry!" she argued.

"Not to me,"

"I Obviously understand your decision. I was thinking about it myself!"

"Right, so why is it understandable and okay for me not to go, but not for you?"

She let out a humorless laugh. "I never said it wasn't okay for me. I believe what I said was, I don't give a shit either way!"

"Ginny, will you please just - "

"Harry," she interrupted. "I said I'm done obsessing about this and worrying over it. Who knows, I might decide on the day, to miss the train. But for now, I've made up my mind,"

"Ginny, I - "

There was a sudden loud shriek from behind them that she was thankful for. They both wheeled around to check out the source of their disturbance, she could see from the window, Ron chasing after Hermione, who looked like she was dying of laughter.

She looked back at Harry to find him smiling softly.

"You know, I still don't how it finally happened," she informed Him. Ron probably would have told her at some point, and she knew for certain, Hermione wanted to tell her, but was probably unsure if Ginny would be available for a talk. She felt another tug of guilt.

Harry was nice enough not to comment on the fact that she would have known that tale from her friends, if she had talked to them more in the past two months.

So he just grinned and told her the story, by the end of it, she was laughing so hard. "Impeccable timing,"

"I know! I was about to hex them both. Seven bloody years and you choose now to snog it out,"

"You know, it's fitting that you were there for their first kiss, Harry. Were you there for the first love making as well?"

"Ugh, Ginny!" he jabbed her on the shoulder, his mouth curled back in disgust, he looked genuinely disturbed.

She laughed harder, both of them moving toward the Burrow, she was teasing him as they sauntered inside, joking and guffawing. Before she knew it, they were in front of her room.

"Anyway, I'm happy they finally took the leap, it was about damn time," she said leaning on her door.

He smiled. "I know. Though, it's been going on far longer than they even realize,"

She nodded in agreement, even though, Ron and Hermione haven't kissed or said anything about their feelings officially to each other before, those two have been in a relationship for quite some time.

Her gaze flickered back to Harry, he was already staring at her, his expression was unreadable, which slightly irritated her. Not for the first time, Ginny wished she could take a walk inside his mind.

"Well, I'm knackered," she said, opening her door and striding inside, "night, Harry,"

"Night, Ginny,"

Before she could shut the door, he called her name to halt her movements, his eyes wary.

"Are you sure? You've really made up your mind?"

Ginny, of course, knew what he was referring to. With determined eyes and a tone of voice that was a lot more assured than she felt, she answered him.

"Yeah, I'm going back to Hogwarts."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still here, I'm sorry for the very late update. Life sucks. Next chapter won't take this long, I hope.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you think.


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